Saulie the Collie is Collared by Mick the Moose

Lieutenant Mick the Moose of MacDonald Farm’s Police Force is watching his newest collar, Saulie the Collie, through the one-way window.  Saulie, stubborn as a mule, won’t talk without his lawyer.  Saulie’s associate, Curvy Kit, exotic, short-haired, a dancer at the Cat’s Meow, is in another interview room.

Mick groans when “Lucky” Ed Shetland joins his client.  He is the associate of “Clever” Hans Trotter and both are known for legal horseplay.

“Time for the dog and pony show,” Mick mutters.

Shetland remains standing when Mick moseys in, says, “Moose, call me Mr. Ed.”

Mick grins at Saulie.  “Got you now.  You and Kit, fighting like cats and dogs, to create a ruckus so your aptly named pal, Cheeta, could pick pockets.”

Mr. Ed snorts, while Saulie just barks, “I’m no fly, you’re no spider.”

“Ha, ha!  Now start yapping.  And remember Kit is next door so no cock-and-bull.”

Saulie whines, “You think I threw the cat among the pigeons for monkey business?”

“Kit coughed it up,” Mick lies. “Said you was the top dog.”  In fact, Kit had hissed, “I’m no rat” and had promptly started to nap.

“You think I’m a sap, sucker!  She ain’t no canary.  And besides, we were just larking.  Not our fault if the gawkers were sitting ducks.”

“That dog don’t hunt,” Mick rumbles.  “This play has been your cash cow for donkey’s years.  Tell us where the loot is or your goose is cooked.”

Mr. Ed interjects, “Hold your horses!  Stop monkeying around!  Your case is a pig’s ear.”

Just then Mick’s partner Billy the Goat barges in.  “Mick, Cheeta just surrendered.  Seems some hens crossed the road, going home to roost, found him hiding, went ape, attracted wild geese who chased him. Says he’ll confess if we save him from the angry birds.”

Saulie looks like he’s going to have kittens and Mick smiles. “Now it’s dog-eat-dog.  Best deal goes to the first to eat crow.”

Saulie and Mr. Ed eyeball each other.  Mr. Ed says, “I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.  This is a horse of a different color.  What are you offering?”

“First to talk gets one year in the Wren Pen, the other five.”

Saulie growls, “That snake in the grass.  He’ll just let the cat of the bag.  Me and Kit have the lion’s share in a satchel in the Mustang’s trunk.  Don’t know where Cheeta has squirreled away his cut of the pickings.”

After Saulie is led away,  Mick slaps Billy on the back.  “I swan, that was more fun than a barrel of monkeys.  He swallowed that story, whole hog.”

Billy hee-hawed, “Saulie’s going to be a bear with a sore head, when he finds out that when we nabbed Cheeta, Cheeta screamed he would chatter when pigs fly.”

“Well, thanks to you we’ve got them both.  Killed two birds with one stone, three if you count Kit.  And the good folks of MacDonald’s Farm will get their goods back. Time for a brew at Dumbo’s Watering Hole.”


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